Hello everyone,Today I am going to write about the fun in the backpackers mixed dorms!
Until I went to Cambodia I had never contemplated going into a mixed dorm… I have always been one of those rather prim and proper ladies that would only go to the all female section. How boring is that! Well in Cambodia I had no choice other than to enter into the world of mixed dorms, as that is what it would appear to be mainly on offer in the hostels of this country!
Wow… a whole new adventure awaited Backpacker Granny… all these drop dead gorgeous young males strutting around in their underpants and making me wish I was twenty one again. There is every nationality imaginable Hunky Australians, Sexy Italians, Beautiful Indians, Handsome Germans… and so on.. God! Have you ever stood in front of a marvelous sweet shop as a child with no money in your pocket? Do you get what I am trying to say? If someone comes up with the youth elixir… I promise you I will be first in the queue and then I will proceed to spend the rest of my life eating every sweet in that sweetshop!!!
Anyhow let me continue with my stories of mixed dorms…
The first mixed dorm I slept in was in a hostel in Siem Reap and actually I was the only female in the room… How awesome is that! Granny sleeping with a total of five men… OK, OK, so they weren’t in my bed (uuuf) but it sounds cool anyway… Sorry to say nothing eventful really happened but the scenery was wonderful!
The next mixed boudoir was in Phnom Penh
On the morning that I saw Tom in our dorm. (I was unfortunately till recovering from food poisoning). It wasn’t his face that was looking at me as I walked out of the bathroom… but his absolutely perfect and beautiful butt clad in the smallest black tanga I have ever seen… OMG please this was too much for the body! Though I have to confess that on seeing the tanga… I did think GAY! Which just goes to show how behind the times I am… and as I was to discover the following day definitely so not GAY!
Tom and Josh were two very good looking Australians travelling through Asia… Josh was a really nice young man, very polite and also extremely kind; he even took the time to ask me if I was feeling any better and plowed me with hydrating powders. Honestly Josh was the type of male you could safely take home to mother and she would be over the moon that you had finally found the near on perfect match.
Now Tom was another story! Tom was drop dead gorgeous, kept his body in trim by jogging every morning (amongst other things) for several miles… He had a great personality and was a real Don Juan with the ladies. Tom was without any shadowof doubt a man that you definitely could not take home to mother… as she would either be devastated that you had picked such an unlikely partner… or worse still she might even run off with him herself!
All was quiet on the western front till the very next day a rather attractive sexy Dutch girl called Marien installed herself in the dorm, taking the bed directly in front of Josh and Tom and directly behind me! As I am sure, all of you have probably guessed, it didn’t take Tom five seconds to ask her name and invite her to join them for a trip round the Town. To which she readily accepted and off they all went… Josh, Tom and Marien. Meanwhile pathetic me lay dying in my bed. Terribly unfair don’t you think?
That evening the trio returned! Josh retiring quietly to his bunk, while Tom promptly sat with Marien on her bed… as I got up to go to the bathroom for the thousandth time I noticed that Marien was now laying down in a very provocative position and Tom was leaning over her.. “Oh dear me” I thought, things are about to happen! Now I don’t want to sound like a miserable ancient prude, but honestly If there is something I can’t stand, is to have to listen to a couple having mad humping outrageous sex, specially as I am not the one getting it! I mean there is poor little me completely sex starved and these two are doing it right in front of my very eyes… Now really it’s just not on! Now is it? I might add that I just could not screw my butt off in a room full of people, not even to save my life!
Fortunately I had invested in a very good pair of silicone earplugs before I left Bangkok (not that I thought I would be using them to block out the sounds of oooohs and aaaaaah of the sex fiends in the next bed) but oh am I glad I did… As I was finally able to go to sleep and be totally oblivious of the rumpus that was going on behind my bed.
The next morning when I awoke Tom was missing and Marien was looking like the cat that had had the cream… Bitch.. rotten bitch .. rotten lucky bitch.. Suddenly Tom arrived back to our room, and without any to do, both him and Josh started madly packing… Backpacker Granny’s thoughts were… Jesus he’s SSing… which means Screwing and Scarpering… but in truth they were only moving to the guest house across the road, since they had forgotten to book and extra night in our hostel. The boys and Marien spent the day together and even invited me to join them for the kick boxing, sadly I was still feeling a bit weak and wobbly so grudgingly had to decline…
Curiously I was wondering what would happen in the evening… when Josh appeared in the dorm and told us that he was sleeping in Marien’s bed… OMG this was unbelievable, now that disgusting shrew was going to have Josh too, (I hated her more than ever) but nooooo Marien was staying with Tom in the other hostel… Silicone ear plugs had a rest that night!
The two boys departed the following morning and I ended up having breakfast with Marien.. To be completely honest, she was a really sweet girl, we ended up having such a laugh about Tom’s tanga and when I told that I thought he was gay, she told me that she had also had had the same impression! that is till he proved otherwise…
My next funny experience was in the third mixed dorm back in Siem Reap… I arrived late in the evening feeling extremely tired after my somewhat hectic journey from Phnom Penh. I walked into the dorm to be greeted by a simply lovely guy called Simon who was beaming down at me from his top bunk, after smiling back and introductions were made, I noticed that laid out on two of the beds, there were these incredible cow outfits, one was even holding a guitar.. this was really intriguing so of course I couldn’t resist asking what the cow outfits were doing on the beds! It worked out that these two completely mad hilarious guys called Matt and Jake had been travelling around Asia on motorbikes wearing these crazy cow outfits…
Well Simon, Jake and Matt were so funny (Don’t we just love the English sense of humor) Every time someone knocked on the door they were all shouting … No you can’t come in.. Wait please, we are all naked! Noooo not yet please! That night I didn’t use ear plugs but I went to sleep laughing my head off and thinking… Gosh mixed dorms are such fun places!