Marigold Hotel Thai Style
Marigold Hotel Thai Style
I would say, that the Hostel where I stay in Bangkok is a Thai version of"Marigold Hotel".
If you haven't seen this film, you must! It is so typical of life in India and incredibly funny. Yesterday I finally managed to see "The Second Exotic Marigold Hotel". It was just as hilarious as the first one.I thoroughly recommend both of them
In the film, The Marigold Hotel caters to an older Mid-life clientele. In my hostel, we go even better as we have a real mish-mash. All races, religions and ages ranging from Young, Adult, Middle Aged, Mature and as Old as you can get, in other words pretty Ancient!
Life is never dreary with all these guests. But of course, there are always those who stand out from the crowd. Today I am going to write about a few of the characters and their strange behaviour.
So, let me start with Tom, an authentic middle-aged fruitcake American who has been coming to the hostel since as far back as I can remember. Providing one is not completely stone deaf, you will always know when Tom has arrived since you can hear his loud drawling voice in every corner of the building. it doesn't matter if one is on the fourth floor and he is on the ground floor.I guarantee you will hear him.
Now if it were just his booming voice one had to put up with, it wouldn't be too bad, but on top of that, he is a full-blown talkaholic! Gordon Bennett! Can that man talk! Verbal diarrhoea is putting it mildly, Even to the point of when someone who's attention span has started to wane walks away from him, he still carries on yakking. Unbelievable but true!
I have no doubt that if he should see somebody off at the airport; he will still be chattering away even after they have finally reached their destination (the mere fact that the person would have left several hours earlier) is a small detail that dear Tom most certainly wouldn't notice.
Apart from being excessively communicative, Tom has an impressive facet of his personality which is his taste in sex partners! Every time he arrives in Thailand we are all informed of his latest partner or should I say, partners!. Occasionally they are much older ladies, other times they are considerably younger and more often than not there are a few Ladyboys added to his list. Apparently, he firmly believes "Variety is the spice of life."
Tom will spend a short time in the hostel hell-bent on driving us all to distraction with his incessant prattle when suddenly out of the blue, a group of funny looking strange (not too sure on the gender) let's say females! Will appear and he departs with all his gear. Jumping Jellybeans silence reigned! Well, that was till 'Jabbering John” arrived on the scene.
J.J, in all honesty, is a very nice kind man. Unfortunately, at nighttime somebody winds his voice box up to continuous play. So much so, from the moment he arrives downstairs for breakfast he is one endless chatterbox. Which, I promise you! Lasts until the time he disappears at night to rest (NOT his weary body), but his darned tired voice and get rewound.!
I wonder why elderly men always talk about what they “HAVE BEEN” isn't it more important what “YOU ARE?” This man has done everything conceivable in this big wide world. From working with the FBI to shark hunting, consequently, I am now also an expert on all these subjects. Do you want to know how to build a boat? Be an S.O.S agent? or brave the monsters of the deep? I am your girl!
One morning when I was trying to write my blog, his incessant prattle got so bad, in the end, I told him I couldn´t hear myself think. To which I think he took umbrage since he didn't speak to me for several days, (regrettably that didn't stop him talking to all the other unfortunate victims) anyhow to avoid further conflict, I went and bought myself the biggest set of earphones that you can ever imagine.
Thank goodness for earphone! What a wonderful invention!! I looked like a real mod chick sitting at my computer writing this blog plus I was now deaf to the world as I sat and listened to Tracy Chapman blaring into my sweet little ears "Baby can I hold you tonight". I got carried away dreaming of some drop-dead gorgeous hunk about one hundred years younger than me! And far more alluring than the oldies in my hostel. Dream on Backpacker granny!
Suzy is a lovely friendly Thai lady who lives permanently at the Hostel and happened to be in the same dorm as me. The very first time I set eyes on her was in the bathroom; she was wearing a tiny rather transparent lace body. She was sitting on the floor posed in the classic lotus position, meditating. My first reaction was to think “Holy Moley! Another awful Nutter has arrived” I admit that occasionally I am guilty of preconceived opinions as was the case with Suzy. It resulted that there was absolutely nothing horrible about her, although the Nutter bit, well, perhaps I wasn't so far wrong there!!!
Our new addition to the guests of Hi-Sukhumvit told us all that she worked in an office. But honestly, she does have rather strange working hours; she leaves at midnight and returns around six A.M in the morning. Her dress attire is something that in all my whole long life I have never seen worn by any office girl! I don't want to jump to conclusions but do you see to what I am referring? Come on folks you have to admit that it is a little bit odd, to say the least! Oh well, it is up to her! Because on reflection, what she does outside of the hostel is none of my business and who is to say that my assumptions could be completely wrong, perhaps she is secretly a female 007.
The problem with Suzy is that apart from her mystery job, she everyone far too much information! Especially when she goes around telling every backpacker that she plays with her toys. No, of course, I don't mean kid's toys, I am talking about those other adult toys that …..Oh heck, you know to what I am referring!! The other day she unashamedly dangled one in front of my face. To which I screeched at her to stop swinging the offending object in front of my eyeballs. Ooooo Mann this is when I suddenly realised that she possibly was NOT right in the head! “Jumping Catfish!” the things this poor little Backpacker Granny has to put up with is truly beyond the call of duty.
There is me fantasising over irresistible "Channing Tatum" when the only reality is some stark stone raving lunatic relating her seedy secrets. Perhaps I should retire to my rocking chair and start gathering dust…OMG, WHAT DID I JUST SAY??? NEVER!
Channing Tatum. So Yum yum yummy
Ladies, do you now understand why I dream of this delightful man? Isn't he just truly ¨To die for¨? To hell with rocking chairs and gathering dust. Let's all live, love and laugh till the very last day.