New breeds of backpackers.

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During the numerous months of travelling, I have had plenty of time to observe the multitude of backpackers that crossed my path. Today’s backpackers come in a vast variety of assortments, consisting of all ages, races, cultures and creeds. You literally get the good, the bad and the ugly! But that is part of what fascinates one about these hardcore globetrotters.

Many years ago Backpackers were all pretty much of a carbon copy. A little bit dusty, a little bit dirty, a little bit down trodden, principally donned in scruffy khaki pants that came with a thousand and one pockets and accompanied by a faded t-shirt. These fascinating people invariable came disguised with a bushy beard (I am referring to the men of course, well almost) which grew longer and longer to match the miles they traveled. Generally they tended to be sorely in need of a dam good bath and a hair-cut! In all honesty their appearance would most certainly not have enchanted your parents! If you are lucky, you will still be able to come across a few of these awe-inspiring and almost extinct explorers, who without question are possibly the most interesting people you will ever encounter. Meeting them is an experience in itself as they will keep you entertained for hours with their incredible and enthralling stories on what true intrepid travelling is all about.

These are the authentic nomads, travelling sometimes for months and even years. These are the adventuras, the number one classics of a long gone era. The whole world is their oyster, they are.  the: “Originalpackers”.

Secondly comes the “Casepacker”


These poor packers are the number one masochists of our planet. These crazy idiots travel round the world dragging the most enormous suitcases (or should I say mobile wardrobes) you can ever imagine! They definitely do not, I repeat, do not use a nice sensible backpack.  Without a doubt they are totally mad or just completely off their heads, possibly even both! They can be seen struggling for all they are worth tugging, shoving, pushing and sweating profusely as they pull the offending monster box behind them on to the trains or buses, along the uneven streets and up all the flights of steps to reach the hostel’s dormitories! Suffice to say the disgusting horrible flipping case usually takes up more room than all the other backpacker’s luggage put together. Considering how long it takes them to unpack and repack, I often wonder what in heaven’s name do they have inside their luggage! Could it possibly be the dead body of another backpacker that they met and hated on sight? Apart from the unknown contents, how they even have any energy or time left to go sightseeing is beyond me! One day I will get round to asking these mental lunatics why in heavens name they insist on inflicting this unnecessary torture upon themselves.

Thirdly comes the “Designerpacker”


The Barbies and the Kens These guys are simply awesome! Body beautiful, looks to kill for, hair styles that you would most probably have to pay two months wages for in a top London salon. To all accounts and purposes, they must have multiple shares in Macintosh. (Mac for short and in case you don’t know) It’s that company that has the logo of a funny little apple with a bit chewed off in the corner!!!They manufacture iPods, iPhones, iPads, iThis, iThat and iGodknowswhats. Our B’s & K’s come equipped with the very latest of all this stuff! Designerpackers wear incredible trendy gear with black being the favoured colour, added to this are the designer trainers, designer sunglasses, designer watches, designer head-phones, designer backpacks and designer underpants! (I know, because when you are in a mixed dorm you kind of get to see these things)  These people are usually drop dead gorgeous, the men make me wish I was a hundred years younger, and the women make me want to annihilate them from this planet, or just kill myself! Hateful bitches! How dare they look so good! To top it all my poor little computer does not have any form of chewed up fruit on the front, nor do I even own anything with a big dirty rotten “I” before its name. It’s a hard life folks.


Post-date: Although I hate to admit it I have been doing a bit of research on Mac/Apple and have discovered the significance behind their logo. It is derived from the story of Adam and Eve in the bible. The bitten apple represents the fruit from the “The tree of knowledge”

Fourthly comes the “Twinpackers”


These are the Pixies and Dixies that travel in twos! And no, I am not referring to a couple, I mean two friends generally female. They arrive at the hostel joined at the hip and during the whole length of their stay, you will never ever see them separately. They breakfast together, lunch together, dine together and even go to the peeing room together. They read together, sunbathe together, go out sightseeing together, laugh together, cry together, and get sick together. For sure they shop together as they always don exactly the same attire. You will see them wearing the same dress, the same shorts. The same bikini, the same long dress for evenings. Oh Dear God it gets even worse! They always have the same boring colour scheme. Their hairstyles are identical, two wispy pony tails, two frizzed up mops that resemble pot scourers or two blonde bobs with a fringe and very horrid black roots!  Are you getting the picture? You can bet your bottom dollar, that if (And that is a very BIG if) one of them is fortunate enough to pull, these two lookalike morons will go together on the single date! Dear friends, have no doubt in your minds that this will definitely be a double ration of passion since these Twinpackers will never be prized apart! After giving this serious thought I am astounded that some enterprising company hasn’t thought of making a twin backpack for these paired up mortals. They could then share the load and continue to be sewn together forever.

Fifthly comes the “Sexpackers”


These fun loving sex seeking people are the ones whose sole purpose on their travels is to have sex, sex, and even more sex. Have sex will travel or travel will have sex. They spend their entire journey jumping from one hot bed to another and couldn’t care less about monuments, temples, excursions or anything as boring as all that nonsense. They party all night, drink to their hearts content and sleep in late. But above all, their top priority is where and how they will get laid. They will screw in the disco loo, on the beach, down one of the back alleys, and even in the mixed dorms where all and sundry can see and hear them. (Thank God for silicone earplugs and eye-masks )  I have always secretly loathed and loved these shameless individuals with no taboos, because it would appear that they are the ones who are having far more fun than all the rest of us put together.

I will be writing more about Sexpackers in my future post “Fun in the Backpacker’s mixed dorms”

Sixthly comesting “Grandpacker”


These are the Grandads and Grandmas of travel, they have grown up children who are now off their hands, often they also have very much loved grandchildren. These people are nearing or have reached and passed retirement age. Instead of staying at home with only a rocking chair, aches and pains, dull days followed by dark lonely nights to look forward to, they are out seeing the world, meeting new people of all ages, living an exciting life and making the very best 0f the last stage of their existence.

I am one of these Grandpacker people. Through my blog I hope that I am an inspiration to others to change their lives and enjoy every second of every moment right till the very end. I might add that this is a fact beyond question: travelling the world will give you a brand new lease of life and more than likely even extend it.

You CAN choose the life you want to live. You deserve to make your dreams come true.

“It is the big choices we make that set our direction.” “It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.”

Have a great day everyone! This backpacker granny is off to eat at the Butterfly restaurant! Apparently you dine in a garden full of beautiful butterflies. God I hope these delightful little creatures are not on the menu. I will tell you more at a later date