Now before I go rambling on with my story, let me fill you in on the latest developments at my hostel.
As many of you will or won't know, my favourite and frequented hostel in Bangkok is "Hi Sukhumvit". Well this hostel is fantastic and I simply love staying there. The owner has been completely renovating the entire building, consequently converting it into an even more comfortable and attractive lodgings. Yesterday the owner told me that he was going to install a fabulous Jacuzzi on the roof top terrace. How cool would that be! I was already dreaming of relaxing water massages under the breathtaking summer sky of Thailand.
Due to the building work going on at that moment, not all the rooms were available. I was obliged to take up residence in a mixed dorm) meaning girls and boys altogether.} Now let's face it! what Backpacker Granny would have any objection to feasting their eyes on a few drop dead gorgeous male bodies. Delectable males walking about with only a minute towel to cover their "you know what's its?" For the sake of renovation, I was prepared to make a few sacrifices. But only a few, as you will very soon discover!
Well there I was in the famous dual gender dorm. At about seven o'clock in the afternoon I was watching a great movie with my headphones stuck in my ears! Suddenly, I heard these weird sounds of oooooh, aaaah ah ha oh oh ohhhhhhhh. At first I thought that the sound had run amok on the film I was watching! but then I listened more carefully and realized exactly what was happening. I am sure you can imagine too!" Yes, you have guessed. Some disgusting creatures were having it off in view of all and sundry and panting and moaning at the top of their voices! Without giving away too much information! On a few occasions in my lifetime, I have been in a situation where it was deemed necessary to "COME quietly" if you get my meaning! Surely to goodness these idiots didn't have to make such a shin din!
I dragged the earphones off my head, jumped out of bed and screamed. "Holy F...k what the hell is going on here" (Sorry about the bad language, but really it was unbelievable! Guys, I am not a behind the times prude, nor am I a narrow minded old crow! but in my way of thinking, the wonderful three lettered word, beginning with an S and ending with an X should be enjoyed in complete and utter privacy far away from the maddening crowd in mixed dorms)
I continued to tell them that this was totally unacceptable and that they should get a private room. I marched out of the dorm, only to find a group of my roommates huddled together in the hallway all looking extremely embarrassed and perplexed. Naturally I quickly informed them of what was going on in our dorm. Imagine my surprise when they told me, that they knew and that was the reason they were outside instead of inside our room.
At this point I should mention that my hostel has a very rigid policy concerning "Sex tourism" It is strictly forbidden and there are signs everywhere stipulating this.
Strongly encouraged by all the other pathetic wimpy backpackers who didn’t have the guts to say anything. They sent me (the nasty evil granny) to complain at the front desk about our very own personal but unwanted “Porn Show going on upstairs.
Our wonderful receptionist and my true knight in shining armour grabbed his beautiful white horse and charged up the steps ten at a time! On arrival, we found that the male offender was busy gathering his baggage together and informed us he was checking out. I add not because he was ashamed of what had happened but because he had a plane to catch! I then realized that these two partners in crime where not even a couple. The girl was denying everything finally owned up and said solly. She was let off with a warning that if it happened again she would have to leave the hostel! Did she take any notice??? Like hell she did! in the total space of ten minutes she was already chatting up another stupid male victim! I actually got to thinking that she could have been a cheap hooker making a few bahts from the young guys in our abode.
Two o’clock found me back at the front desk to complain that she was now in one of the other guy’s bed. Obviously with the same intention of getting laid and being paid. Believe me, the only thing I wanted was a good night’s sleep without all the loud shameless cries from you know who! Fortunately for all of us she was moved to a different room and this morning I discovered she had been asked to leave and never return.
Oh well, all I can say is that there is never a dull moment in the Backpacker Hostels and besides Hotels can be so terribly boring darlings!
P.S- I ADMIT THAT THE BIT ABOUT THE WHITE HORSE WAS PURE FANTASY... BUT WHAT A LOVELY THOUGHT.
P.P.S- THINGS ARE NOW VERY QUIET IN THE HOSTEL. I AM THINKING OF GOING TO LOOK FOR THAT WRETCHED HOOKER. AT LEAST IT WOULD LIVEN THINGS UP A BIT!