HELLO EVERYONE! YES, THAT´S THE TITLE. COFFEE OR COFFIN. I AM FINALLY BACK ON TRACK TO WRITE MY BLOG! I THINK I HAD BETTER START BY TELLING YOU ALL THAT MY WONDERFUL, ADORABLE, GORGEOUS, HANDSOME FRIEND RICHARD IS BACK IN THE CITY! THE CITY BEING BANGKOK. NOW, WHO CAN BLAME A GIRL FOR NOT KEEPING UP WITH HER WRITING, WHEN A DELECTABLE MALE IS ON THE SCENE. YES, I KNOW I AM A GRANNY BUT THE SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD INSIDE INTENDS TO ENJOY LIFE TILL SHE DIES. TALKING OF DYING! TODAY I AM GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE COFFEE AND THE COFFINS.

IF YOU READ MY POST “A DAY ON THE BUS IN BANGKOK” THEN YOU WILL KNOW THAT RICHARD DECIDED TO TAKE ME TO A VERY SPECIAL RESTAURANT IN CHINATOWN! WHICH WE NEVER FOUND! WELL MY DEAR FRIENDS, GUESS WHAT! RICHARD HAS RETURNED AND OH MY GOD, HE STILL WANTS TO TAKE ME TO THIS BLOODY RESTAURANT (THE ONE WE NEVER FOUND) IN CHINATOWN. BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER I MUST CONFESS THAT WHERE HANDSOME YOUNG MEN ARE CONCERNED I AM A TOTAL WIMP! GOING ALONG WITH THEIR CRAZY IDEAS WITH MY HEAD GOING UP AND DOWN IN AGREEMENT, LIKE THOSE AWFUL NODDING DOGS THAT USED TO SIT IN THE BACK OF PEOPLE’S CARS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER THEM? LUCKY, YOU. THEY WERE SIMPLY AWFUL!

SO THANKS TO MY NODDING DOG SYNDROME, I FOUND MYSELF ONCE AGAIN IN THE MIDDLE OF CHINATOWN WITH DEAR RICHARD SEARCHING FOR THE FAMOUS RESTAURANT. UP AND DOWN THE QUIRKY STREETS, PASSING THOUSANDS OF WONDERFUL LITTLE PLACES TO EAT AND SECRETLY THINKING… WE COULD HAVE GONE INTO ANY OF THEM AND HAD A FAB MEAL! BUT OF COURSE, MY WONDERFUL FRIEND IS ON A MISSION. SO, ON WE CONTINUE OUR SEARCH. WHEN SUDDENLY, HE INFORMS ME THAT THE PLACE WE ARE LOOKING FOR IS ON A STREET THAT MAKES COFFINS. YES, COFFINS! THOSE THINGS WHERE WE GO WHEN WE ARE STIFF AND COLD! OH, HEAVENS ABOVE, I THOUGHT. THIS GUY WANTS TO BUMP ME OFF AND LEAVE ME IN A BOX IN CHINATOWN! I SUDDENLY HAD A FLASHBACK TO WHEN I WAS DATING A SUMPTUOUS UNDERTAKER IN SPAIN AND ALL THOSE CASKETS. WELL, I WON’T ELABORATE, AT LEAST NOT NOW, BUT PERHAPS IN ANOTHER STORY.

ON THAT SCORE, I HAD THE GREAT IDEA OF US ASKING A TUK TUK DRIVER WHERE THE COFFIN MAKERS WERE! NOW RICHARD’S THAI IS VERY GOOD, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, HIS VOCABULARY DOES NOT EXTEND TO COFFIN! SO, THERE WE ARE ON THE CORNER OF THE ROAD WITH THE THAI DRIVER AND RICHARD SAYING HE DOESN’T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO TRY TO EXPLAIN WHERE WE WANT TO GO. (JESUS BABY HE’S THE ONE THAT WANTS TO GO THE EATING PLACE) WELL, OF COURSE, I HAVE NOW DECIDED THAT I WILL USE MY INCREDIBLE TALENTS OF SIGN LANGUAGE TO GET THROUGH TO THE LOVELY LITTLE THAI MAN.

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO MIME THE WORD CORPSE? THERE I AM CROSSING MY ARMS OVER MY CHEST, CLOSING MY EYES AND MIMING THAT I AM DEAD! THEN I TRY SAYING “YOU KNOW, BOX, FOR DEAD PEOPLE?” THE GUY IS LOOKING AT ME AS IF I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER NUTTER! OK SO I AM, BUT THE POOR TUK TUK DRIVER SHOULDN’T KNOW THAT, SHOULD HE?

AND THEN I TRY THE WORDS “COFFIN MAKER!” BINGO! THE DRIVER’S FACE CLEARS AND OF COURSE, HE HAS UNDERSTOOD PERFECTLY, BY REPLYING. “OH, YOU WANT COFFEE!” BY THIS TIME, I WOULD HAVE DIED FOR A COFFEE. BUT NOT IN A DAM COFFIN THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WE LEFT THE TOTALLY CONFUSED TUK TUK MAN AND DECIDED TO JUST WALK ABOUT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENED. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, FIVE MINUTES LATER THERE IN FRONT OF US WAS THE STREET OF THE COFFIN MAKERS! AND CONSEQUENTLY, WE FOUND THE FAMOUS PLACE TO EAT THAT RICHARD HAD BEEN RAVING ABOUT. IT WAS VERY GOOD YUMMY FOOD AND WORTH ALL THE TRAILS AND ERRORS TO GET THERE. I THEN HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA THAT WE SHOULD GET A CARD FROM THE NEAREST COFFIN MAKER SO WE WOULD HAVE THE ADDRESS TO RETURN! NO! I WON’T GO INTO THE DETAILS OF HOW I ASKED THE COFFIN MAKER FOR ONE OF HIS CARDS. BUT I DID GET IT IN THE END!!! 😉

POST DATA: – WHEN I WROTE ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT THE FOOD BEING GOOD, I LIED, IT WAS A LOAD S..T, BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO OFFEND MY DEAR FRIEND. DON’T TELL HIM, BUT I HAVE SLUNG THAT ROTTEN COFFIN MAKERS CARD AWAY. HOPEFULLY NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN!