Whilst I sit here on Otres beach Sihanoukville Cambodia with my computer in front of me and listen to the waves beating against the shore. I tell myself that I live in a wondrous world and that life is as good as it can get.

I have just returned from the spectacular paradisiacal Island of Koh ta Kiev. A small haven at approximately 13 kilometers off the coast of Sihanoukville, Cambodia, in the Bay of Thailand. The Island is 28 square kilometers and has only three basic resorts on the westward face that offer varied accommodation, including treehouses, bungalows, tents, dorm rooms, or hammocks.

Sometimes when one travels, it is easy to get a little tired of the tourist scene, and we find ourselves dreaming of getting back to the rudimentary way of life and far from the maddening crowd. So when I heard about this incredible isle, I decided that a few days of being a “Castaway” would be pure bliss.

My very dear friend Charlie thought it sounded fantastic and, much to my delight! Decided that he would come with me, so we hastily reserved our tent at “Crusoe Island Resort” booked the boat to take us there, and before we knew it, the day had arrived, and we could embark on a new adventure. The journey took about 55 mins on the fishing boat. Gosh, I do love those boats, but getting on and off can be a bit traumatic for a little granny like me! Especially as there is no such thing as a nice comfy plank to get on board gracefully. Or I should say far better described as “seen better days” rusty little ladder. Fortunately, I had a hunky man with me, who manoeuvred my luggage and gave me a mighty shove on my derrière to get me into the floating object. Oh, and I forgot to mention that one has to wade through the water to reach said vessel! That’s great when nature has endowed you with tall, but Holy Whatever, I am just a tiny little thing, and the water usually comes almost to my waistline… So for my petite friends. All valuables should be stored above mid-drift level when boarding a boat to the islands. I keep them all in my bra.. at least it (the bra) gets filled with something!

OK! After half drowning and looking like a soaked rat, with Charlie laughing his head off, we finally arrived at our destination. What can I say? Koh Ta Kiev is out of this world, and the only colour I can use to describe the breathtaking powdery beach is Maize yellow and bordered by pure unadulterated Tarzan jungle.

We met Liam, the resort owner, who checked us in and filled us in on the necessary info about the Island. We then discovered that due to this being authentic rural living, there were no bathrooms! No loos! no electricity! (apart from a generator for the bar and communal area). And no internet! He also warned us that we wouldn’t have to worry about spiders as although they could bite, they weren’t poisonous, but that the Island had some pretty evil snakes, so we should be careful! Now at this point, two major issues were forming in my head! Firstly where was I going to go to the bathroom? And if I went into the jungle to rid myself of body waste, would I be bitten in a rather delicate part of my anatomy and top it all … DIE!!! I had this horrible vision of an article in the Daily Mail (which appears on Facebook) with all the sordid details of my passing away!

We then set off to select our abode. The tents were pretty cool, and we finally settled on an elevated one. After dropping our bags and changing into bathing gear, we decided to explore the surroundings. The main reason for immediately donning a bikini was that if I was taken short, I could dash into the water and, well, literally pee in the sea! While we are on this subject, it is on these occasions that I do think the male species have it so much easier than us poor females. I mean, they zip down, pop it out and hey ho … In contrast, we have to lift our skirts, or pull-down trousers, then drag away at our knick knicks. If that isn’t bad enough, we also have to be careful to keep all our clothes at knee level, so they don’t get sprayed and then… (Oh dear God, what were you thinking of when you created us?) we have to squat with everything for the world to see.!!! Not fair! I mean the situation.. not my butt.. as that is….

Enough said on that subject, so let me get back to telling you about Cambodia’s best-kept secret. Apart from three lovely yellow sand beaches shaded by an abundance of tropical trees, there are stunning coral reefs that are excellent for snorkelling and diving. Narrow paths twist and turn through the jungle, so if one is feeling venturesome and would like to see some wildlife that, according to the locals, is inhabited by carnivorous pitcher plants and is also home to more than 160 species,,, of birds. I have to say we were enthralled and agreed that we never wanted to leave.

In the evening, we met up with other people living the natural life whilst enjoying yummy food prepared by Liam’s wife. We heard many crazy stories from our companions, including one guy who told us he had an enormous spider in his tent! Charlie and I looked at each other, and we were happy we had safely locked up our place.. another guy told us he was taking photos with his “Go-Pro” of hundreds of giant red ants. I always knew that GoPros were high-definition personal cameras, often used in extreme action video photography; oh well, now they are great for fast-moving ants!

That night we went to sleep listening to the magical sounds of the jungle and listening to the music of the sea as it caressed the beaches.

The very next day, we were up bright and early and guess what! … We were washing, bathing and sneaky peeing in the ocean… Like naughty children but having so much fun… Oooooh, and the water! Wow, it was so warm.. all I can say is that it was utter ecstasy! OMG, what did I say? Amid my seventh heaven, I suddenly spied a barracuda! I guess you all know what a bucking bronco is.. well, that was me as I scampered to get out of the sea…Charlie, by this time, was doubled up and laughingly informed me that my menacing little fish was too small to eat me and that I was a raving lunatic! I wanted to thank him for telling me what I already knew about my state of mind! Ahaaa, my revenge came when he spotted a giant fat jellyfish spanning about 15 inches wide and within a hairsbreadth of where he was swimming.. haha … ha, have you ever seen someone imitating a jumping dolphin?

We spent the rest of the day exploring the Island, swimming in the sea, and visiting a crazy distillery hidden in the jungle! Some guy was doing his own thing.. interesting! We then spent moments lulling the day away in one of the many hammocks hanging along the beach… What a perfect Island and what a perfect period spent with an incredible friend. Thank you so much for sharing this awe-inspiring time with me.. Love you loads.

Sadly due to other commitments, we had to leave the Island the following day. Even sadder, hearsay tells that a Chinese company has bought the Island and plan to construct a 30 billion dollar casino and resort with a connecting bridge from the mainland directly to the Island. They have already started to build a mega road and have destroyed a considerable part of the jungle. They will crucify his splendid paradise for the sake of greed and money.

How lucky we were to experience its beauty before it disappears forever.

“Only when the last tree has been cut down;

Only when the last river has been poisoned;

Only when the last fish has been caught;

Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten”.

Helpful information should you visit Koh Ta Kiev on Places to stay.

Coral Beach resort Crusoe Island Ten 103 Treehouse Bay.

How to get there… When you book your accommodation, the same resort will pick you up from Sihanoukville by boat and take you back when you need it. There is a small charge of between 10$ to 15$ return fare for the boat.

Please be advised that most products, food and drink are quite a bit more expensive than on the mainland, so anti-mosquito, snacks, toiletries, etc., take with you.